Why Is It Hard to Coach Someone Who Resists Feedback?

Coaching someone who resists feedback is challenging because it often stems from deeply ingrained personal insecurities or past experiences that lead to defensive behaviors. Such resistance can manifest as denial, deflection, or even hostility, making it difficult for leaders to facilitate growth and improvement. When feedback is perceived as a personal attack, the individual’s natural response is to protect their self-image, leading to a breakdown in communication and a reluctance to change.

When and How to Apply

Apply feedback coaching techniques during one-on-one meetings or performance reviews when there is a need to address specific issues or behaviors. It is crucial to create a safe and supportive environment where the individual feels valued and understood. Timing is key; choose moments when the person is more receptive and open to dialogue, such as after a successful project completion or during a calm period.

Action Items

• Build Trust: Establish a relationship based on mutual respect and trust. Show genuine interest in their personal and professional growth.
• Empathize and Listen: Practice active listening by acknowledging their feelings and perspectives. Use phrases that demonstrate understanding and empathy.
• Focus on Solutions: Shift from criticism to constructive conversations that focus on finding solutions and opportunities for improvement.
• Use I-statements: Frame feedback with I-statements to express observations without making the individual feel personally attacked.
• Set Clear Expectations: Clearly communicate the goals and expectations to ensure alignment and prevent misunderstandings.